Wednesday, April 25, 2012

How I made the BIGGEST decision in my LIFE

Since I was a little girl I have always wanted to serve a mission.  I remember being in the car with my dad as a little girl and telling him that I was going to go on a mission. When I turned 21 Clayton was still in the picture.  I thought for sure we would get married.  I continued to pray constantly to know whether or not I was supposed to serve a mission, but it never felt right.  Something always seemed to be in the way whether I was back with Clayton, or I got into school, wanted to get married, didn't want to miss out on my brother's wedding, new nephew, or the fact that I was too old in my eyes.  After Clayton cheated on me for the 3rd time, and after we broke up I started thinking about it again.  I remember driving by my NANAs old house and wondering if she would be proud of me.  I was instantly filled with the spirit, and her love.  At that moment I wondered whether or not I was supposed to go on a mission.  I didn't really think about it after that.  Some major trials continued to happen in my life and I decided to move home.   I got a calling the first week I moved back.  I was set apart that same Sunday by Brother Jenks who I didn't know at all.  He had moved into the ward while I was away.  He knew nothing about me.  During the blessing he kept pausing for what seemed like 5 minutes (it was more like 20 seconds my dad tells me).  Finally he said something that would change my life forever.  He told me that if I had a desire to serve a mission that my Heavenly Father would support me.  At that moment I knew that I was to serve a mission.  I knew that Heavenly Father had a plan for me, and he was waiting for that perfect time when he knew I was ready to receive the answer I had waited two years for.  My life has been like a crazy puzzle and now the pieces are all finally fitting together.  I look at my life two years ago and I was no where near ready to serve a mission.  I am a completely different person now then I was then.  I am so excited to become an instrument unto the Lord.  To serve with all of my might, mind, and stregnth.  To make my Heavenly Father proud.  I have been blessed my whole life with the Gospel.  It brings me pure JOY each and everyday.  I can't wait to give others that same JOY that I have.  I know it will be the hardest thing that I ever do, but I know it will be the most REWARDING thing that I do.  My life will be eternally blessed.

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